Uncle SteveP's Second Mad Tour 2009

Here We Go Again…
Thursday 17th December 2009
21 bus from The Black Horse in Chester le Street to Durham, cold but fresh.
By the time we arrive in Durham, there are hailstones lashing down and some of them are rather painful. A quick visit to Subway for breakfast/ dinner (a 12” Subway club for those who are interested) A walk up to the station and a sit down to eat the sandwich and wait for the train that I thought I was catching at 12:30, which I was actually getting at 12:48. (£15 each way for those that were interested in the costs last time!!) Oh well, an extra 20 minutes sat at the station for me then!
10 minutes till departure and I move out onto the platform and wait by the designated area where the carriage I’ll be on will pull in at. Despite numerous announcements telling students with big bags to make their way to the south end of the platform where their bags will be deposited in the guards van of the train, several of them still decide to stand on the platform where they want. I guess Durham University had finished for the Christmas break on the Wednesday and a whole load of students were making their way home for the holidays.
On time, the train pulls in and when the passengers getting off are off and the ignorants among us that insist on pushing their way onto the train before everyone else had decided to get on, then I was on, found my seat and sat down. The ipod went on quickly and the paper was read. Fifteen minutes later and all of the train was loaded, we set off. 3 hours later, after stops at Darlington, Northallerton, York, Doncaster and Peterborough, we arrive at Kings Cross.
The forecasted snow had not arrived as yet, but it was still very cold. I set off along Pentonville Road towards my hotel. It was a lot easier to find the hotel than it actually was to cross the road to it. The A501 gets rather busy during the rush hour and the pedestrian crossings weren’t exactly quick in getting people over the road.
Checking in was simple, found my room on the third floor and unpacked. A quick cup of tea and a sort out of what I was wearing for the night was done, before a quick 30 minute snooze occurred. Diving into the shower after a shave whilst I was in the smallest hotel bathroom in the world was fantastic, great power shower and tremendous heat. Just a shame within 2 minutes the room was full of steam, not surprising really when the room was only 5 feet x 5 feet.
Dressed and ready, I headed off out to the gig. Retracing my steps to Kings Cross and hungry, I had reluctantly settled for McDonalds, but as I approached the station, I noticed a KFC. Not having had one in an age, I decided that was what I was having. Ordered a Fully Loaded meal, as I couldn’t see the burger option on the menu, after I’d got it I eventually saw it and was rather embarrassed with myself, and especially so that the piece of chicken and the sweetcorn side were consigned to the bin, as I didn’t really have time to eat either plus, I can’t stand meat on the bone.
Into the Underground and the Victoria Line, 1 stop to Highbury and Islington. Getting off there, I exited the underground and saw the meet pub- The Famous Cock. Walking in and not immediately seeing anyone, I went to the bar to await being served. A pint of Kronenbourg at £3.40 was reasonable for London I thought and as I looked round, saw VickyP and made my way over to her. She was sat with a full booth of people, so I stood by the bandit talking to her for a few minutes until I turned round and saw Iddsy, Floyd and GarethMSP. Telling Vicky I’d get back to her later, I headed over to talk to the lads.
Only person missing was Steve_1974, who had said he was setting off to get to the pub between 5 and 6, considering it was now 20 past, I think something went wrong there eh!! Typically he turned up as I was waiting at the bar for my next pint and I got them in. Got asked to sign Ginger’s birthday card, which I thought was a great honour.
At 7, we were going to head over to the gig as the tickets had doors at 7 printed on them. Vicky wouldn’t let us go though as she said doors weren’t opening till 7:30, so we hung around till then, when Ean finally let us go. Joining the queue to get into the Garage after seeing and saying hello to Tom Spencer from The Loyalties, we finally got in and found the bar. Getting a dfrink we checked out the merchandise, not a great deal that I would really want, the only thing I did fancy was the celebratory shot glass, but at £10, I felt it was a little overpriced, so I decided against the purchase.
Hitting the stage at a couple of minutes past 8, Ginger introduced us to the first line up, consisting of himself, Rich Jones (Guitar, The Loyalties), Scott Sorry (Bass, The Wildhearts) and Denzil (drums, Antiproduct, God Damn Whores & Ginger solo band) and launched into You Smell Canadian from his mini album Supershit 666.

Over the night, the lineups revolved and songs were played from Ginger’s solo catalogue, set list being:
You Smell Canadian (Supershit 666)When She Comes (Yoni)Message to Geri (Clam Abuse)I Think I Love You (Clam Abuse)Unlucky In Love (Clam Abuse)Mother City (Valor Del Corazon)Rambling Rose by MC5Victoria (Featuring 3 Victorias on stage) by Vix & The KixCrank It Up (Supershit 666)A break of 5 minutes and Ginger returned for a second set, all Wildhearts numbers, consisting of:LoveshitTwo Way Idiot Mirror (a personal favourite of mine J )Sick Of DrugsRed Light, Green LightMindslideS.I.N (In Sin)Beautiful Thing You (another personal favourite)I Wanna Go Where The People Go (featuring Random Jon Poole on drums!!)Give The Girl A GunVanilla RadioSuckerpunchMy Baby Is A Headfuck29 x The PainLove You Till I Don’tAn encore of SilverGinger5 numbers Girls Are Better Than Boys and Sonic Shake ended the night, apparently, there were meant to be 2 more SG5 numbers, but time constraints beat us.
All of the time, I’d been relaying the line ups and set list to Col, back in Aycliffe, who duly placed the posts on the message board for the unlucky peeps unable to attend
All in all, it was just an all round fabulous gig, one I’m so glad to have attended and made the effort to attend.
Full list of guests:Rich Jones, Tom Spencer (The Loyalties)CJ, Ritch Battersby, Scott Sorry (The Wildhearts)Denzil (Antiproduct, God Damn Whores, Ginger solo band)Alex Kane (Antiproduct, Clam Abuse)Givvi (guest singer on Unlucky In Love)Michael Butler (a man of mystery!!!)The Rev, Victoria (Dirty Harry)Angie (Fluffy)Nigel Mogg (The Quireboys)Victoria (Tragedy)Vix (Fuzzbox, Vix & The Kicks)Willie Dowling (Honeycrack, Celebrity Squares, Jackdaw 4)Snell (Towers of London, The Loyalties)Jens (Gigantor)Nathan (Snow Patrol)Random Jon Poole (Cardiacs, SilverGinger5, The Wildhearts, God Damn Whores)Chris Catalyst (Eureka Machines, Sisters of Mercy)Olga (Toy Dolls)Chris(tmas) McCormack (3 Colours Red, Grand Theft Audio, Gary Numan band)Conny Bloom (Electric Boys, SilverGinger5, Hanoi Rocks)
Milling round afterwards, I saw VickyP again, and she gave me a great big hug, I think it was down to the sheer excellence of the show we’d just seen, I dunno. Heading to the stage, like Martin does after each gig, I was attempting to secure myself a set list. Tonight’s set list was written in marker pen on an A2 flip chart pad, unfortunately, when I asked guitar tech/ roadie Dunc if there were any left, he couldn’t lay his hands on one. The steward in front of me leaned over and picked up something from the ledge of the crowd barrier, opened his hand to me and showed me it, it was a yellow pick, being as it was to Ginger’s right looking from the stage, there was no way it could have been anyone else’s. I eventually persuaded the steward to relinquish the pick and I thanked him profusely.
Leaving the venue, I caught up with Iddsy and Floyd again and we took a slow walk back to the Cock, Steve1974 was a little while ahead, I thought we’d lost him in the snow, as it was fairly blinding, coming in horizontally with the wind. Walking into the pub, the barmaid looked pretty miserable as she cleared tables away. There was hardly anyone in the bar so I asked if they were still serving, answer, no, so, I turned round and told the lads no more beer.
We had to then wait for GarethMSP who’d gone to the cloakroom to collect his 14 coats. Txting Vicky to tell her the pub was shut and we were making our way back to the digs, we left Steve1974 to get his lift home and away we went. One stop again on the tube and off at Kings Cross.
Looking at the arrival and departure boards and seeing just chaos due to heavy snow in East Anglia , I stood with Gareth until his train was finally called at around quarter past midnight. I headed back to the hotel and got in and immediately put the kettle on, cup of tea to warm me through.
Watching news24 it seemed like the newsreaders were describing Armageddon, not 5 inches of snow in East Anglia. Drank tea, read the newspaper and lay watching tv.
Eventually decided to sleep at about 2am. There was obviously a water pump between my room and the one next door and it made noises all night and I was unable to get to sleep, at one point I spooked myself when I opened my eyes and saw the reflection in the mirror of the bedside lamp attached to the wall above my head thinking it was a head.
It was cold when I woke up, even under the covers, so decided a hot shower would be just trhe ticket to get me warmed up before the trek back to Kings Cross. The water temperature never got much higher than room temperature, so it was mostly a waste of time. Wrapped up and set off to the station, I remembered I needed a Christmas card for the other half and a birthday card for my mother.
The post office at Kings Cross was rather poor, so I left it. Enough said.
Waiting for the train at Kings Cross brought back memories of the previous night, but only slightly less cold. After watching the news earlier and seeing the arrivals/ departure boards at the station, to leave London only 20 minutes late was quite a feat.
The country had been hit in two bands the previous night, once I got north of Peterborough, the snow faded away, but as we approached Yorkshire, it appeared again and got deeper as we got further north. Getting off in Durham, I was confronted with about 7 inches, struggling my way down to the railway station, I caught the 21 back to Chester le Street and then the bus onto the estate. Arriving home at about 10 past 5, I was able to get 2 hours rest in until it was time to go out again and head to the station to collect the other half after her journey down from Edinburgh.
Settling for a night in, we got pizza and beer and watched tv
Onto the train at Durham for the 13:27 to Manchester Airport (£13), we of course, left the train in Leeds at 5 to 3 and wandered through the streets to our Travelodge on Vicar Lane.
Checking in took forever, as a group of 4 Irish lads had trouble telling the receptionist who was who, and their bookings, maybe if they’d concentrated on trying to book in rather than chat up the redhead concerned, then they may have found it easier.

Opening the door to the room, we were met with an L shaped room, with the bed tucked into the tightest part of the L, with only about 9 inches either side to walk up the side of the bed. The other half went to check out the bathroom, flicking the switch and nothing happened. I got her to fill the kettle so we could have a cup of tea and flicked the television on, nothing. Upon trying the lightswitch for the room and the bedside switches and getting no response, she said we’d have to go back down to reception and get moved.
As I was about to leave the room, I saw the panel, saying insert card here, next to the door, upon doing so, the room sprang into life and I had to call the other half back to the room as she was almost halfway down the corridor.
Tea made and relaxing watching the swimming!! I was going online on my mobile to see what was happening with the day’s football as none of the available channels on the room tv were doing any updates.
Half 5 comes around and time to get ready for the gig, shave and shower and dressed, waiting for the other half to get ready, I get a phone call from Col, him, Martin and their respective other halves are in the Templar Hotel and was asking where the hell I was. Saying we were nearly ready, I said I can see the pub from our window and we’d be there asap, we arrived in there not long afterwards.
Sat at the front of the pub, were Col, Wendy, Martin and Lisa, with Andy_b, Mick from Middlesbrough and a couple of other Wildhearts fans. On the other side, underneath the front window was another group wearing Wildhearts merchandise, so it was no Mastermind contest to work out where they were going.
The original plan was to meet in Santiago’s, but the Templar was chosen, as Santiago’s wasn’t open when they got there. A fact confirmed when Vicky_P rang to ask where we were after she had arrived and had seen it was closed.
Trudi and Jason walked through the door next and hello’s were exchanged, then they must have heard something as they didn’t even make the bar, turning round and heading across the road. Vicious rumours were circulating that both support bands had had transport trouble on the way to Leeds and were running late, to the point that they might not even make it.
Upon finishing our second pints, we wandered across the road and joined the queue behind Col & Martin et al for the gig. When it was obvious that they weren’t going to open the doors anytime soon, we decamped to the now open Santiago’s and had another drink.
More listees were spotted and chatted to, Vicky_P and husband James, Liisa and her mate Sarah to name but a couple. Then we saw the queue starting to go down and again, another rush to finish our drinks and get across to the gig. Upon getting in, I could hear guitars and knew that The Loyalties were on stage already, so, putting our earplugs in, we headed up the stairs to the room.
Got right to the front and had a great view of the band as they put on a great set of mostly songs from their ‘So Much For Soho’ album.
In between The Loyalties and Antiproduct, myself and Col were introduced by Pudu (who I’d met and talked to at the birthday gig) to Ilsa and Olerandershelley. Thankfully, the pictures taken not long after that shall remain in the possession of the owner and NOT see the light of day!
Antiproduct were next up and didn’t waste a lot of time, hardly any soundchecking or testing went on and they hit the stage. At one point singer Alex Kane jumped off stage into the crowd, barged me as he went past, splashing my beer into my left eye. To say it stung was a bit of an understatement. Alcohol blindness is not a wonderful thing people!
Recovering sufficiently to see The Wildhearts next up, the look on the other half’s face when they finally came on made it worth the entry price alone. Having loaded the whole back catalogue (that I own at least) onto her ipod once, which she listened to on the way home, she seemed even more impressed to see them live, which is always a good thing.
Ginger had a little complaint about people talking over his talking and during songs, leading him to say, if you wanna be here fine, if you don’t, fuck off and I’ll pay you to fuck off to wherever you came from, foolishly, I shouted, ‘even to Newcastle?’ to which he said ‘oh fuck’, I said it was ok, it was only costing me £20 in first class on the train in the morning, which Ginger couldn’t understand, thinking I’d said something along the lines of ‘23 pictures in a tent (and another couple of words I can’t remember)’ Graciously, I backed down and let him get on with it and the gig continued apace.
As the night wore on, I could feel myself getting more and more exhausted, we’d taken a step or three back after Antiproduct, being as it was I believe, the other half’s first gig, so I didn’t want her caught up in the action at the front. As the gig ended, I told her, I wasn’t bothered what we did, I just wanted to get back to the hotel and sleep. Some merchandise was bought for Christmas presents and 3 copies of Chutzpah jnr were also obtained, goodbyes said and off we went.
The other half studied the menu back at the hotel and there was nothing she fancied, so it was back to the room to finish the tube of Pringle’s we’d got earlier in the day.
Myself, I got into bed, 2 paracetamol and tried to watch Match Of The Day. Only saw about 10 minutes before we were both flat out, so the tv went off, next thing we knew, the alarm was going off at 10 past 6.
What is it with me and my health at gigs in Leeds? That’s 2 seen and twice I’ve been ill.
Leaving the hotel at 20 to 7, a brisk walk back to the station, and awaiting the coach service that was a replacement for the train from Leeds to York, engineering work stopping trains between the two cities that day. Accosted on the way by 3 lads from Huddersfield asking how to get to somewhere, obviously not knowing, they continued on their merry way to wherever they were headed.
The coach finally showed up at 25 past 7 and we were soon on the way.
Arriving at York station at 10 past 8, not knowing York very well at all, we decided the Upper Crust in the station was to be our port of call for breakfast. Large hot sausage baps and hot chocolate later, we were soon on the platform for the 9am train. First class for me to Durham cost £18 and for the other half to Edinburgh was £31. We were both heading back so early so we’d be home for the football, myself, Newcastle vs Middlesbrough and for her, Heart of Midlothian vs Glasgow Celtic.
Back at Durham, there was at least 3 inches of snow on the ground and walking in it was quite difficult, but walk I had to do, down to the bus station. Eventually a 21 arrived and I made my way home. The normal 15 minute walk from the stop outside Chesters to home was increased to nearly 30 minutes, due to having to trudge through even more snow than was at Durham.
Getting in the house at nearly half 11 and still feeling much as I had the previous night, I just didn’t feel capable of going to the match, I’d have missed most of the first half, the way the public transport system was that day, so I decided it just wasn’t worth it. Thankfully, the game was on BBC1 and a fantastic 2-0 victory was recorded.
Meeting my friend Stef in the Garden Farm at 6pm, a quick pint before we left for Newcastle and away we went. The estate roads were severely treacherous and we slid all the way (so it seems) down to where he lives, where we dropped his wife Julie off for her relaxing evening at home.
Making our way into Newcastle, we got parked up no problem and set off on the 5 minute walk to the O2 Academy. Once inside, we were pleasantly surprised to see that the gig was in the main room, I’ve seen the Quireboys for the last 2 years and both times they’ve been in the much smaller Academy 2 room.
Spotting Annie, I went over and had a few minutes with her, I hadn’t seen her since just before the almost ‘Whole Lotta Rosie’ incident as she christened it after the Wildhearts gig at the Garage in Glasgow in September. See the previous blog, Edinburgh/ Glasgow section for details if you don’t know what I’m on about.
Schitzo_stu turned up next and with him was long time gig cohort Jeff, various amounts of attempted mickey taking were met with the response that he’d better start being kind or else his copy of Chutzpah jnr was going on ebay. He sharp shut up and the tenner was swapped for the cd.
Wolfsbane hit the stage and were great, videoed I Like It Hot and put it on my Youtube, link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1-0CkrkruU second time I’ve seen them and I just wish now that I’d managed to get hold of their stuff when they first came out, and before their implosion when Blaze foolishly left them to do 2 poor albums with Iron Maiden.
The Quireboys were tremendous as usual, with Spike seemingly relishing the big stage that the main room of the Academy afforded him. I think this band are another one of the great British treasures lost to the majority, supporting The Rolling Stones around 1990 should have given them the kick up they deserved and got them on the road to being a really big band.
The main roads were clear by the time we set off home after the gig and it was just getting onto the estate that was difficult. The snow that had fallen over the previous Thursday night had been compacted and frozen and then the further snowfall on the Saturday night had made everything slippery as an ice rink.
Monday morning met with no change in the weather situation as I made my way down into town to the Black Horse bus stop once again, on my way to Newton Aycliffe. 21 bus to Durham, then the 7 to Aycliffe and that £4 fare again! Got me to Blakes (now renamed DL5 for some strange reason, apparently, still a dive)
Col picked me up on his way round to Tesco so he could get some cash and we returned to his, where he put the kettle on. One bacon and Mushroom sandwich later and Martin & Lisa arrived.
Decamping to the car, we set off, again, getting off their estate and to the A1(M) was the most difficult part. The motorway was clear and trouble free, stopping at Woodall services for refreshment and then continuing on our way. By the time we met the M6 from the M42, it was well into the rush hour and it took us best part of 45 minutes to get from joining the M6 to finding our Travelodge.
Checking in at 5:25, there was supposed to be a meet in the hotel bar for all those going to the gig who were staying there, so we rushed to our rooms, Col, Martin and Lisa just splashing their faces, I went for a shower, but still made it into the bar for 25 to 6. I’d bought a pot noodle to have for tea, but seeing as we were in a rush, I forwent it, that and the fact I forgot to pack a bloody fork so I could eat the damned thing! Greeting Mattie again and sinking a few pints, with no other listees appearing!!, we took the 3 minute walk to the Wulfrun Hall.
Eventually when we got in, we were met by a nicely sized hall, with separate bar area. On stage, we noticed 3 chairs and immediately thought that the Loyalties was going to be acoustic. Adjourning to the bar and seeing Rich Jones at the access, Col went to chat to him, I volunteered Col’s services to Rich as a stand in drummer, but he wouldn’t have any of it.
At the bar we spoke to Alex Kane, apparently, he’d left his digs in London that morning without his stage gear, so he’d had to take himself off into town that day and buy himself an outfit, as it was, he ended up with a Dennis the Menace style striped vest, with shiny black leggings. He must have liked it, as he wore the same outfit at Antiproduct’s Newcastle gig two weeks later. He also told us that The Loyalties was acoustic because their drummer had been unable to get away from home because of the snow. It has to be said that there was no snow in Wolverhampton, and we hadn’t seen any since Wetherby.
The Loyalties set was rather better than expected, Ginger watching from the rear, Tom’s mic stand that wouldn’t stay in the same place, as soon as the roadie tightened it, it loosened and swung round to the audience, then Scott Sorry joining them on stage for a cover of The Kinks’ Father Christmas (Give Us Your Money), Youtube link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kkifFReeq3Y . Spoke to Jase Edwards after The Loyalties went off, congratulated him on a great show the previous evening, he seemed surprised that I’d been there and had made it down here for the gig tonight.
Also spoke to Finn, artist on the Wildhearts self titled album (the white one!)
Had a comment thrown at me when I was waiting at the bar along the lines of ‘I thought it was a Wildhearts gig tonight, not a comedy show’ as the long bearded 30+ stone bloke with no particular redeeming features pointed to the Newcastle United shirt I was wearing. I just flashed a smile at him, walked away and though, ‘you’ve got the nerve to laugh at me looking like that!!’.
I was making room for the pint I’d just bought and I was met by Nig1012, so when we came out of the toilets, I went and got Col and we got stuck into a good convo about all things music and also discussed the decorum that would be served tonight, as Col was not wanting any more topless pics of Mrs Nig1012 for his collection, and how firedup didn’t want to make the relatively short hop from Nottingham to Wolverhampton for the gig.
A quick hello and 2 minutes with Denzil, drummer with Antiproduct and Lady Ga Ga struck up on the house PA. Being as they had come onto that in Leeds on Saturday, I said to Col and Nig that the band were coming on, and into the room we went.
I got quite close to the front, maybe 5 feet away from the barrier and never managed to stand in the same place till the encore.
Off went the Wildhearts after another great set, no time limitations, so we were treat to the full set that we were supposed to have got in Leeds, milling around, we got to talk to Jase Edwards again, and were surreptitiously pumping him for information as to when he was heading into the studio to record the next Ginger solo album. Credit to Jase, he said something might happen, but he gave nothing away. (announcement was made on the Wildhearts message board at the beginning of Feb that he is actually back in the studio with Ginger)
We all spoke to Denzil this time and Col was keen to ask about what it was like being in the dressing room with Milena, Mandi and Clare, especially when they’re getting changed before or after gigs. I’m 200% certain he was saying it tongue in cheek, but he said he’d seen it all and wasn’t impressed, would rather go for a beer, even when they were ‘lezzing it up’. Can’t say that I’d have gone in search of alcohol given the opportunity!!
Out into the foyer where the bands were manning their merchandise stalls and we got to speak to half of the Loyalties and more of Antiproduct.
After security finally kicked us out of the building, guitar tech Dunc was also seeing someone out, so, in typical style, we went and accosted him, asked him about the rumour that the band were playing a gig in Crewe in March and where else some gigs might happen, Dunc laughed and just said that they wanted to play places they’d never been to before. With Ginger now teaming up with Michael Monroe from Hanoi Rocks and touring Europe and the US in April/ May time, I think we can probably safely say that this tour would be off now.

Deciding to get ourselves back to the hotel bar, the 5 of us headed off and got to the crossroads opposite. Realising it was 25 past 11, we could still have more drink in a pub if we wanted, so, asking the first pedestrian to pass us where the closest pub was, we were directed to a Yates’ When we found it, we walked in and saw some more fans who had been to the gig and decided to have a few drinks before heading home.
After a good hour of talking to them, the pub was closing, so again, we were on the streets, not before Col had had a 35 minute conversation with a couple sat in the window of the pub, I’d mistakenly thought the bloke of the couple was the sound engineer for Antiproduct and told Col, he just went over, brazen as hell to ask if he was, turns out he wasn’t, but hey ho.
They turned down our offer of a few more beers at the hotel bar as they had no money left, Col being typically brash as well said something along the lines of ‘it’s not your money we want mate’
Leaving the pub, Martin had the genius idea that we should turn right and go through the street that was pointing in a diagonal to the way we’d got to the pub, the long side of the triangle, as it were, surely it’d be quicker to get back to the hotel, quicker it was, but we didn’t bank on it taking another hour and a half, as we rounded one corner and came across the back street of the gig, loading a white transit were some familiar looking figures and as we got closer, yes, Antiproduct….again!!
A quick bout of Bungee Jumping People Die from the 5 of us as we walked down the street had the band in stitches, so much so, that Alex asked us to do it again as he wanted to record it on his phone. By the way, if you’re reading this Alex, did you ever upload it anywhere???
Getting close to the transit, we could see 5 of the band plus merch girl packed tightly into the back, we asked if they were going to travel all the way to London like that and heroes that they are, they did, except when mandy had to get out to spew, which is another story altogether, but footage is available on youtube for those who are into that sort of stuff.
Leaving them to get going, we ventured further down the street, Col demanding a piggy back from me, being the 15 stone weakling that I am, I could hardly keep the fat fucker on my back, I guess the beer consumed over the evening/ night didn’t help, past The Wildhearts tour bus, in the dark seemingly (they always are dark, you never know if someone is on board or not!!) and lo and behold, here are The Loyalties packing up their gear into their transit and trailer. Much crap was spoken by us drunken fools to them. Lead singer/ bass player Tom said he’d love to stay and chat some more but there were still a few things they needed to do inside, so he asked us if we wouldn’t mind looking after their gear while they did this. We readily agreed and stood around for about 10 minutes while we waited.

On returning, Tom said thanks and started to pull something out of his pocket, to our great joy, 4 cans of Kronenbourg, he duly handed them over as our reward for looking after the gear.
More absolute rubbish was spoken/ shouted by us to the band and thankfully they took it all with great humour, I love the fact that although we see them up on that stage, if you bump into them offstage, they always seem so happy to chat, are patient with us etc (no mention needed of the time I spoke to Ginger outside St James’ Park not long after Valor Del Corazon had been released and I made a right tongue tied tit of myself (IMO))
While all this was going on, Col decided to do his Picasso trick and drew a rather large cock and balls in the dirt on the back of the Loyalties gear trailer, Tom added to it by putting some rather large blobs of semen shooting out in all directions.
Four security guards/ bouncers walked past us while this was going on, and one of them said ‘nice shirt’ in a familiar accent to me as he went past. Behind them came strolling down the street CJ and Duncan (no quips about thick, big foreheeded Geordie telly presenters thank you!!) who were returning to the tour bus from a pizza shop. CJ bowed in acknowledgement of my shout to him, shame I hadn’t recognised him earlier and gone up to him, there’s only him and Ritch I haven’t met since I first saw them all those years ago (1993)
By this time, Scott Sorry had joined us and we were joking around about all kinds of rubbish, Scott remembered us from the Sorry & The Sinatras gig in Newcastle 2 months previously, and another reference to Amen, being probably something derogatory about Casey Chaos, we thought we had perfect evidence, being as both Scott and Rich Jones from the Loyalties had been in Amen.

Letting The Loyalties get themselves on the road to London for the next night’s gig, we moved on and headed for the hotel, one of the security guards that had passed us was taking a leak, so we obviously took the opportunity to tell him he’d have been thrown out of our club for doing that (much as they’d have done if we’d done it inside their club) Getting talking to them, one of them was from Winlaton, not far outside Gateshead. When asked what they were doing down here, we got told that Chubby Brown had being doing a gig in the city that night and they were the security on the doors and at the front of the stage. They were staying in the same hotel as us. Sorry if we kept you awake boys, read on…..

Noticing the bar was still open, it was decreed that more beer was to be consumed. Getting a pint ad settling down at the table with Martin, Lisa and Mattie, Col was sniffing again, as per, and getting nowhere with the night staff. I’d decided I was hungry and got up and went to the bar to ask. They reckon us northerners are thick, well, how about this..

Me: Hi Phillipa, are you still serving food tonight? I know it says on the menus that you stop at 10pm, but any chance?
Phillipa: Sorry, we’re not serving food, but we can order you something in if you like, and how do you know my name is Phillipa?
Me: It says so on that id badge pinned to your left tit dear

Anyway, upon hearing this, we had a chat and decided pizza and chips if we could get them. Phillipa went away, ordered us what we asked for and we sat back, watching the Christmas songs on 4music, depressing ourselves or singing inappropriate versions of said songs (glad we were the only ones in the bar!)
After what seemed no time, a pizza delivery bloke turns up and opens his bag, one 14” pepperoni pizza and 2 portions of chips, £12.60, bargain. Only proviso we’d had from the staff for ordering it for us was that we gave them some. So, 6 slices of pizza, 5 of us there, who got the last piece? I neither know, nor care.
3am came around and it was time to put a lid on it all, we all went to bed, I tried really hard to read the paper while I drank my coffee in bed, but I was fighting a losing battle and turned in.
Getting up next morning, showering and packing up, I got a call from Col saying they were ready, so I said I’d see them in the reception in 5 minutes.
Once we’re out of Wolverhampton, the roads get quieter and we’re able to move at a good pace.
The intention was to find a café or stop at a services and have breakfast, but as we moved and got closer to home, it got easier just to pass services after services, eventually ending up stopping at Tibshelf. One expensive cup of tea later and we’re back on the road.
Arriving back at Newton Aycliffe, Martin and Lisa let us out of the car and they’re away home after wishing myself a Merry Christmas etc and into Col’s Fiesta for the journey to Chester le Street.
With about 5 inches of snow on the car and underneath that, ice, it took quite a lot of de- icer to get it clear, even when the snow had been cleared off, Col was saying, it’s not shifting, I replied, it never will if you’re spraying it out there, cos it’s on the flaming inside!!!
After about 20 minutes of clearing, spraying and running the heater with the engine running, we were able to get going. Yet again, once we got onto main roads, the going was good and we were soon back in Chester le Street. Col asked for me to rub some snow on the windscreen to give it some moisture, as his screenwash bottle was either frozen or had been emptied.
Off he went and I trudged home the 5 minutes to an empty house, parents at work, dogs strangely quiet! Stuck the kettle on and had that pot noodle I was unable to have the previous day.
I now know why musicians prefer life on the road, being at home can be incredibly boring!…..